Sometimes walking through the life you find some people who become family to you and become your own blood
TO DEAR SOMEONE,
Sorry, I disappear on you for the second time, this letter isn’t about trying to reconcile. I’ve been writing away the seconds while trying to put together the lessons I, have learned from you. To start, I can’t thank you for all that you have given me. I know we have been apart, but I write assuming you still have the same heart, so I can at least hope that you have forgiven me. I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and just in case you believe I forgot, I haven’t, not even in a slight way. I hope I find you exactly as I left you, lazing in the sun out by my roof; remember that’s where we first met, on that slight pad? I was walking home from school and I saw you scratching and playing with your own bright head; batter and bruised like you’d starter in a dogs remake of fight club. for the first few moment, we literally had a Mexican stand-off. I took a few step to bandage your wounds and you almost snapped my hand off with a rough bite. so much for love at first sight, with that aggeration. but thank you for teaching me that love is seldom about the first impressions, that there’s so much more to discover to a person than your worst perception. I live my life by that lesson today. remember our late night conversations, all at odd hours? of 17-year-old quips, relationships went sour and all the pain? I poured my heart out into your glass over and over again and you, you downed it all without a single complaint, even though my word required significant strain from you to know them. I remember when I need my first audience for my first ever song, I turned to you; I know you didn’t understand shit but you listened like it meant the whole world to you and I think the quiver in my voice told you what that meant to me. now that it occurs to me; it’s so easy to fall in love with a person who yearns to listen, without waiting for their turn to speak. The world needs more like you. But they don’t make many more like you. You know what else hurts me too? you know so much about me and I know so little about you. I never asked if you craved attention which is pure and undivided. Never asked if you dated some bitches too, just like I did. Never asked about the excitement within those playful barks. Never asked if your favourite song was Snow patrol’s chasing cars. I just assumed you liked it because the title sounded like an amazing part. so I sang it, whenever we sat in the dark, lying on our backs and gazing at the stars. the first time I had to say goodbye; when you said that you’ll be alright. and as soon as I stepped back and unlatched that gate, it was like falling in love with your cute face all over again.
how could you forgive this easily? I couldn’t have forgiven me. for the next two days, you didn’t leave me alone, right from the moment I entered the room. you even stood guard outside my door. remember I had a party to attend the same night? so here I was, dressed up in formals, with a stray dog by my side. trying to tell you that legions of people would riddle you like a task force and you shouldn’t give them a reason to fiddle and ask more. five minutes into the party and someone said what’s your dog doing in the middle of the dance floor.
but that night is something, is something, I won’t ever need to get over. I spent our last evening, hand feeding you other people’s leftover but there’s nowhere else I would have rather been to pass time. I am sorry I didn’t want to say sorry the second time and the last time going by the past me, I wouldn’t have made it without weeping myself sore. I hope you know I miss you too.
I hope you realise how someone of few words taught a little kid, a whole new language.